BREAKING NEWS! The gypsies are loose in TEXAS!

With the first week of the looongest work orientation down we decided we needed to flee Houston for a change of scenery. Soo, all 5 of the new travelers packed it up and headed to the Lonestars state capitol Austin, Tx. The drive down was filled with anxious excitement and stories of eachothers past travel escapades. Imagine this 5 girls from all over the states who have been traveling for years and act as foolish as we do..things could get interesting. Once in Austin we decided how alike these girls are, we had no place to stay and the thought hadn't even come up once on the drive down. We also found out that Americas got talent was doing auditions, we contemplated going but decided we have no talents. Being that we are all cheap gypsies Mariah took out her smart phone and took a gamble. In a gamblers world we pretty much lost everything. What we did win was a cozy Days Inn Motel located conveniently on the high way, the hum guaranteed to put you to sleep at night. Accommodations included a complimentary breakfast (which we never got the chance to sink our teeth into), pop and ice machine,  and an AIDS infested swimming pool.
                                                                    

We broke the seal of our room and the sweet smell of menthol cigarettes and urine quickly reached our noses. PS. the window was already opened. As you gaze into the room you see a large king size bed with 5 pillows..PERFECT. Just as we were commenting on the exact amount of pillows you hear the hum of the cot coming down the sidewalk. Not sure where that was going to go but at this point we needed to head out to West 6th street. So, being responsible we called for a cab. Half of us are in the cab when the nice gentleman tells us it is illegal to have more than 4 passengers at a time. We heckled with him for a minute until he was so pissed he nearly kicked us all out of the cab. Like the room we also lost the cab war and had to take 2. Once the second group made it to the first bar at around 3 PM the first three girls had already ordered a beer, taken a shot, and were in the process of getting free T-Shirts...already a success. Unlike us the other travelers felt a need to eat before more heavy drinking could occur. So a mexican rooftop joint was found and the Margarittas were flowing. Jenn forgot how to swallow hers and was choking so bad she had to excuse herself to the restroom. No one was concerned enough to check on her, but the waitress did see her in there and probably thought she was puking because of the noise coming from the stall. This is shaping up to be a good day..2 places down and we have already made a scene.  With mild screams from the balcony and a group of boys telling us that there is a mechanical bull down the street we were off to the bar. We all took our turn on the bull and then discussed the next stop.

Now, our friend Brittany aka "Squatting Sunshine" decided that she wanted to get a tattoo. At this point we all are feeling the buzz and decide to encourage this idea. So it is off to the local Tat Parlor where Brittany decides on a heart. With the tattoo out of the way we continued to run up and down 6th street and see how much we could drink for free...we were pretty successful expect for at the Chugging Monkey. Here we quickly used the restroom both and male and female and when we came out a couple of cases of Guiness were staring us in the face. Each of us quickly snagged as many we could fit in our purses and casually left. We realized this was wrong but we hope we helped the bar realize that beer should never be unattended when the gypsies are loose.
From here on out the night becomes a blur. Not only did we try to get free drinks we also sampled all the food up and down 6th pretending like it was sample day at the grocery store. When stuffed full we headed back to the comfy king size bed and cot hoping it might have transformed into something beautiful while we were gone! The next morning we headed home only then did we realize that we literally only saw one street in Austin. We must plan another trip in the future!

Another week of work was coming to a close and depression was starting to set in. WE NEEDED A VACATION! With weather promising to be sunny we headed to closest island on the map : Galveston. Basically, people from work gave us a lot of mixed reviews on this island so we had to check it our for ourselves. At first we were not too sure what we got ourselves into, but at the same time we saw the most glorious thing ever...people were walking the streets carrying ice cold beers! We were sold! Literally, the first shop we came too we went in ordered a beer and began cruising the streets.

The next intersection was all hustle and bustle there happened be the annual chili cook off. Being that it felt like 100 degrees and humid as hell we decided we didn't want to eat chili but the folks that were attending this event were much more entertaining. So we refreshed our beers and found the closest stoop to prop ourselves on to do some epic people watching. We also stumbled upon a cruise ship docked on the island. We seriously considered trying to sneak on, but luckily we still had all senses intact. We thought there were no rules on this island, but we realized this was wrong when we got kicked out of the bar for bringing in our own beers. So we found a bench and made some quick new friends. There were 2 "special" horse carriage drivers and their puppy.

We got schooled on the carriage driver lifestyle and we even got some tricks and tips to this lifestyle just in case we ever wanted to dabble in this profession. So we watched her work as she said the "cheesiest shit ever" (her #1 rule to us). They also told us the best place to get fresh seafood, so headed that way. When we walked in we were not sure why we took these 2 peoples advice but hell we gave it a try. We were seated asked what we wanted to drink and given menus. We were parched and wanted ice cold water, but what we got was ice cold toilet water. This is when we new we had to leave as soon as possible. So with that we quickly gathered our things and exited to the nearest taco cabanna knowing that we have never had a bad mexican experience. Galveston was WAY more than we expected, but next time we hope to see the ocean.

Then it was back to work for the week. We figured out a new way to the hospital so we could avoid the daily traffic jam that is all of Houstons highways. This was our first full week of work on our own and we were starting to get the hang of it. We are starting to know the system a little better with their copious amounts of paper and standing orders. Nurse Practioners on duty all night help make our shift go smoothly. Administering chemo has also become less nerve wracking with a little bit of practice! Overall, the entire staff has been very welcoming and extremely helpful!

Again, enough off that work talk..it is time for a vacation! San Antonio is said to be one of the nicest cities in Texas. We decided to give the hotel gamble another shot..this time we won! A plush Holidae In complete with our own personal free shuttle driver...this was going to be a good vacation. With the UV climbing everyday we strapped on our suits and headed to the local Wal-Mart to get all the tanning essentials:


 Oil, Magaznes, and liquor. Then it was down to the pool, at first we thought it was locked but we found a way in and propped ourselves there for all to see for a couple hours. After while we got ourselves ready headed to the shuttle that takes you to the Riverwalk where we thought we would have dinner.



Being the friendly travelers we are, we struck up conversation with the first lonesome person we saw. She taught Jenn how to change her camera settings to night mode and then took a couple quick shots for us. Lynn was so sweet and mentioned a great pub where we could eat...how could we not invite her along. So the three of us ran through the riverwalk to the end where there was a pub called Waxy's. As we walked into the pub Lynn stated the obvious, "man in  smells like an ass in here". The gentleman at the bar said sorry it was her and pointed to his date who was proudly  wearing a dunce cap hat from Dicks Last Resort with devil horns poking out the side. She in return giggled and headed to the bathroom, as she was gone her classy date bought us all a round of drinks perhaps as an apology for releasing a gas mask worthy fart. From this point on we hung out with this odd group. Just as things were warming up Lynn broke the news that she had to be up early for a book signing and TV appearance!        

             

          









We didn't know we were hanging out with a celebrity! We made a huge deal out of this promising to read her book before she left. Before our other two smelly friends left they invited us to her grammas house for a homecooked BBQ, we probably would have gladly taken them up on the offer but our night was just beginning and they were going extremely early in the morning, so we said our good byes and headed to Rita's. With two seats left at the bar we sat down gingerly and ordered the "free" chips and salsa. It was going on 10Pm and all we had eaten that day was a bagel and various liquid products. The two men next to us really became intrigued by us and struck up conversation on the best rita to order. So we casually ordered that not knowing that they were nearly 10 dollas each! They did not stear us wrong they were delish..long story but lets just say these were the only drinks we were forced to pay for. The conversation here was a good one when these men started complimenting us. Now normal guys would compliment our eyes, our hair, our smiles, but not these boys. They really enjoyed our arm hair! We encouraged them by petting our arm hair saying things like "yea it is really soft and smooth". After this they wanted us to come to the club but if you use our arm hair as a pick up line we are not sold.

The next stop was Dick's. Now we know they are supposed to act like Dick's but we were not sure if they were actually being serious when they said we weren't allowed in. So we counted our losses and continued on to the numerous other bars that would love it if we graced them with our presence. The next stop we came to was confusing, Suddenly we were surrounded by sheriffs and we could not decipher which ones were real and which were fake. Sara slyly tried to take a badge from one and found out he was real when he took handcuffs out of his pocket...luckily he was nice and just told me NO.

 

 The next ones were "fake" and willingly just gave us their badges so we would leave them alone. They also let us blow their whistles and somehow still let us into their bar... Here we had a mini dance party and also decided enough was enough and started the walk home. We had no idea where we were or how to get home to the Holidae In, but in the mist of our directionally challenged minds we looked up and there was the ALAMO! Not only were we looking at this famous place but we also had struck gold with a landmark. So we called our friend Pat in Ohio He said he could help but couldn't understand our bantering so to text him where we were. So we sent him a picture of us with sad puppy faces and said we were at the Alamo and needed to get to the hotel motel holidae in. His response: "You guys are idiots I can't help you". At this point we were lost, alone, and starving. So we ate an entire pack of tic tacs while gazing at the alamo until we got enough energy to continue on. So we went over the river and through the woods until we spotted the glowing green Holidae In sign and it was right to bed for us!

Next day, we woke up and it appeared a tornado had went through our hotel and we had slept right on through it. It was 11:15 and checkout was noon and there was simply no way we were going to make this so we did the next best thing and called the hotline that is hotwire and took another gamble.


The man wouldn't give us the same hotel so we took a shot at getting the same place and luckily for everyone involved we WON! We decided that we should see the riverwalk and day time and the tic tacs were wearing off at this point so it was time for some lunch. Then we took a ride on the water taxis to see all that was there. Very Very cool place with a lot of history. We saw the hospital where George Straight was born, saw a couple optical illusions, saw the oldest restaurant here (which we had already happened to eat at), and learned about why things have five bells

around here. We breezed through the Alamo and were headed to a couple local shops when we passed a corner with some mirrors. These were not just any mirrors but mirrors that when you pushed a button they would make you really tall or really small. In case you don't know this about us we have a not so secret obsession with little people aka "nuggets". For literally 20 minutes we played in our fantasy world. When people on the streets walked up to laugh at us we danced around them and joined them  to the mirror party. We had the workers taking pictures of us jackasses. When the mirror happened to get stuck on little person format we were practically in heaven until a little boy came up and punched the magical red button and ruined everything! That is when we decided it was time to go.

When we called our personal shuttle driver he asked if we were just making home from last night. Fortunately, we weren't and we told him we walked home. He was speechless amazed by our talents. Being the excellent shuttle driver he is, Steve, took us on a private tour of San Antonio to the area with all the mansions, lucky us! We freshened up for a nice dinner and headed out for round 2. Ding! Ding! Ding!

We were then walking the streets enjoying the nice evening when we noticed a large nicely dressed group heading inside a local joint. We said hey that looks like fun we should go in. We realized that there was a cover and had to do some quick thinking. So we tapped the last man in line on the shoulders and asked if we could join the group he was super friendly introduced himself saying it was his birthday and told the doorman that they were with me. In return he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath...Just like that we were in for FREE!

We were not intending to be tag-a-longs but they insisted on us hanging out. At one point the birthday boy had us double fisting Hurricanes..that is NEVER a good thing.

We met all twenty of his closest friends and enjoyed the birthday celebration. We also met some people who wanted to teach us how to twostep. Our bar was closing soon so they enticed us with two of our favorite things: #1 the new place was called drunken monkeys #2 there was live karaoke. Monkeys and Karaoke our weakness and just like that we were sold. Our new friends gave us something to strive for their work puts them up in a Residence Inn for months. They get free breakfast, complimentary dinners and drinks, a cleaning lady, and new neighbors everyday! We are adding a Residents Inn to our wishlist for our next assignment. All in all San Antonio has a lot to offer and really is an awesome city with plenty of Southern Hospitality.

DISCLAIMER: Although this may sound like we are alcoholics, we are not.